Voices in my head.

One of the things i find really funny, is how people's voices change depending on who they are talking to, and what kind of situation they're in. Like when Mum is really angry and yelling about something and then the phone rings and it's like this switch flicks over in her brain and she's all "Oh hi, (cue; big over-the-phone smile) how are you?" We all do it, I do it all the time. Sometimes it's necessary but sometimes, Jesus Christ Almighty it is really uncalled for. If you are one of the aforementioned over-the-top voice changers, it is most likely that you fall in to one of the following categories.

The barbie-doll-sugar-coated clothes shop assistant.
When people walk into your shop you totter over to them in your kitten heels and greet them with a nasally "hii honeeey how are yooouu?" and, amazingly, you somehow manage to keep the diameter of your mouth to that of a 20 cent piece for the entire exchange of words. By some miraculous stroke of genius you seem to have concluded that everyone who comes into your shop, male or female, old or young, has morphed into a snotty, confused toddler who needs to be spoken to in a sing-song voice, much to the amusement (but most often annoyance) of anyone who actually enters your line of sight.

The you-look-different-to-me-so-I'm-going-to-speak-weirdly person.
Oh this is definitely one of my personal favourites. I read this thing the other day where a guy had seen a group of Japanese people taking a photo in front of some monument near where he was. He went over to them and asked in really slow and blunt english; "Do you want me take picture?" motioning with his hands like a camera. One of the Japanese men turned around and said "No thanks, asshole, I got it under control" hahaha. When I was in Bali last June, there were so many people like this. One guy in particular would speak to the balinese people like they were complete idiots, even though the rest of us were speaking to them normally. We went on a bike tour all the way there Mum was talking to this one man about his children and his work and everything, and I swear he could speak english perfectly! Better than some Aussie's. So anyway, this guy says to him at a rest stop "You. Ride (accompanied by 'bike riding' gestures) Here. Every. day?" And we all just cringed. Did you not here the last 45 minute conversation? Oh my god.

There are heaps more but I really can't be bothered babbling on about it all tonight, and it's probably boring as hell anyway. Night!