Child's Play.

I never was a child. I was only a small adult. A scale down of the person I am, the person I will always be. This isn't to say that I have never acted like a child, in fact, at times I can be quite immature. But I am always aware of being immature, of acting childish. Since I was very young, I have been independent, I refused to let my Mum dress me, or help me with things that I was capable of doing on my own. In grade one I taught myself how to manipulate people through flattery and careful conversation so that they liked me. In grade two, I accepted that my dream of becoming a ballerina was unrealistic because the chance of being 'the best' was next to nothing, and I was not willing to dedicate my life to one single thing because the opportunity cost was too great.
By grade three I had well and truly accepted the role of mature peacemaker within my friendship group. I was the one who sorted out the fights, the one who cared for the person being left out, who was told of everyone's problems. Heck, by now I was even giving my parents advice.
I never thought I was a child. I can remember thinking, in grade two; "Well, Charlotte, you're not in grade prep anymore, it is really time to start putting in more effort into your schoolwork." My favourite book was an encyclopedia. No joke. I spent my weekends researching ancient Egypt and developing technology. I wanted to know everything.
I read somewhere that your childhood ends the minute you start being able to reflect on it as your childhood. For me , I was constantly reflecting. I would think to myself, "You have to appreciate this time, because some people would give anything to have their childhood again, don't take it for granted." I guess I kind of shot myself in the foot with that one. Haha.
It was no surprise to me when I found out that the Easter bunny and Santa weren't real. I barely blinked. The next Christmas I sat up late with Mum wrapping the presents, loving every minute of writing; "To Arty, From Santa" on the gifts. I was more than ever a part of the mysterious world of adulthood. The one thing that killed me was the tooth fairy. I don't know why, but this was what hurt most of all. I remember conducting an experiment one day when I lost a tooth. I hid it in my room, in a glass of water, and didn't tell anyone. The next morning I woke up and nothing had changed, there was my tooth, just sitting there. I was furious. Absolutely furious. I screamed at Mum and called her a liar. I wouldn't listen to her feeble attempts at "I have to tell the tooth fairy to come, I have to call her." Never again did I leave a tooth out for her. I was hollow. Is it ironic that my most childish trait was faith? I find it amusing that we are told to believe in God, to believe in something that we have never seen or heard from. To have blind faith. But the times you believed in something so unconditionally as a child, it turned out that it was just your parents trying to add a little magic to your life. What if, hypothetically, you died tomorrow and went to wherever you go to after life, let's use heaven as an example, and you found out that God and Jesus and Allah are all just the "Santa Clauses" of adulthood. As the gates open and you walk in, expecting to see Jesus, all these people just look around really awkwardly and someone goes, "Ummm...yeah, uh, about that." That's when you start sending gifts to Earth that say, "Dear Peter, From God."