Today's Letters.

Dearest customers,

Ok so I understand that people pretty much don't wake up until they have their morning coffee, but seriously, do you have to be so fucking rude? No i don't remember what you ordered last week, so don't get crabby when I forget you like your regular decaf soy caramel latte in a large cup with chocolate on top. Seriously when did a coffee turn into a massive production? Just drink what you're given. Sheet. 

Regards, Charlotte.

Dear Cockroaches,

I acknowledge that you lived here before me, but I would appreciate if you could refrain from scuttling around in my bedroom (and particularly in and out of the pictures above my head) as I am trying to sleep. You see, when I was very young, a giant huntsman landed on my face -seriously just like in the movies, and it scared the absolute bejeebers out of me. Hence, an extreme fear of little creepy crawly things. Consequently, when you are shuffling papers and what not at 1am, it wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep until I find you and kill you. Which is unfortunate for me because it involves getting out of bed, and then trying to get back to sleep after a hit of adrenaline so big that its like I've taken 20 No Dozes. Oh, and obviously it is not the best situation for you either. I think that we would all be much happier if you would stay out of my room. If you need somewhere to camp for the night, Louis' room is right next door. So yeah. Let's try this shit out.

Thanks. 

Justin Bieber,

What's the deal? There are so many people who want to be famous little pop stars, and you have seriously just come out of nowhere and pow! Haha, you are pretty cute, but are you meant to be sixteen? Because you seriously look about twelve. Oh and what's with that part of your film clip where you do that little army roll over the pool table? It makes me laugh every time, I'm betting that you got told to do that by someone directing the clip, but I guess that just proves that you shouldn't always listen to what other people say. And did anybody tell you that you look like tavi? I think you do. But less deadpan. Good luck with the career and everything, (Y).

Love Charlotte