Tragedy.

So this morning we woke up to phone calls from our worried parents, who had spent the morning listening to the news of the stampede at the water festival. We came home early last night, so we managed to miss it, but we are still a bit shocked about the whole thing. The crowds were absolutely insane, like a giant mosh pit swarming down the riverfront. Apparently there were heaps of people on one of the islands, which is connected to the mainland by just one bridge. At some point something has scared the crowd, and people have started trying to get off the island as quickly as they could. This has created mayhem on the bridge as people were crushed as they fell down, or dived over the bridge into the water and drowned. The whole bridge was decorated with colourful lights, but somehow these wires electrocuted people who fell into them-only horrifying the crowd even more. We are so upset that the joy of the last 3 days has ended like this. Such a sad day for the entire country because millions had come from provinces all over Cambodia. The Prime Minister has declared Wednesday (tomorrow) a day of mourning, so we are just kind of playing it by ear as we don't know what to expect/what is expected of us. You can read more about the incident here.

Of all the things.

Of all the shops and sights in Phnom Penh, Claire and I today succeeded in finding what is quite possibly the only thrift store in Cambodia. Needless to say we had the BEST DAY EVER. We bought about 4 kilo's of stuff each (we measure our purchases in mass now that we have to carry them everywhere) and it was only $7 for each of us! We spent 2 hours in this little store, running up and down the aisles of clothes, dressed up in god knows what and having a ball. We got tops, skirts, jumpers (Claire; Well I am going to uni in Melbourne and it's cold there...") and a bathing suit each. Hopefully tomorrow we can get a few snaps and show you all what we got! The day didn't start out too great, our grand plans of a sleep in were shattered when Claire's Dad called at 6:30, but soon we were up and bustling around, chugging down our morning coffees. A little too quickly though, I managed to throw up again. Yes, it has become a regular occurance for some reason! Lovely. After our shopping, we went back to this cute little frozen yoghurt place on the river front, and watched the boat races from the second storey. So incredible.
Yesterday we went to see the S-21 prison/ genocide museum. I can't even begin to explain what that was like. We had been reading books and studying the history of the place as well as talking to other people who had been, but nothing could prepare us for what we felt as we walked in. Halfway through the tour we were both crying our eyes out as we tried to wrap our heads around everything that happened. But it's like trying to understand whats at the end of the universe. Freaking impossible. The thing that got me was the look in the eyes of every person in the images that lined the walls. Hundreds and hundreds of mug shots of prisoners and Khmer Rouge fighters. They all had this haunting look of sadness, fear and defeat, and their eyes were just piercing into you. I could barely look at them, the same look repeated in every single face, from babies to the elderly. It's making my skin prickle just thinking of it. It definitely made us realise how insignificant all our problems are, and how pointless it is for people to bitch and fight about nothing. I have never appreciated the simple existence of my friends and family more. Love you all :)

My Day!

So this morning after some issues with transport yesterday, I decided to rent a bike and do the 8k to work like that. I got the bike ok, and everything was going great until I set off without a map (thinking that I'd be super fine with just some street names written on my hand...) or a helmet-they hire out bikes, but nowhere seems to have a decent crash hat. About 10 minutes into my journey I realised I was completely lost, so I decided I would just ride around until I saw something familiar and go there. I passed the same people at this one stall so many times that by the last time they all pointed and waved. Nice. I eventually found the road I was going on, they're mostly all numbered streets, though they didn't think to actually line up the numbers when they did it so you get St, 123 right next to st 217, and crossing st 186. Confusing is an understatement, because then they have 3 different names for each main road as well. Argh!
Anyway, I soon discovered that being on a bicycle is perhaps more dangerous than being on the back of a moto, if that is at all possible. You have (almost) total control, so you feel in charge of where you're going, though you just have to follow the traffic up onto the pavement or through puddles and god knows what-just try not to put your feet down! You have to go fast to keep up with the movement of traffic, and you have to concentrate on everything. All the time. It's almost better to zone out and use your peripheral vision because you can't ever keep track of everyone on each side. The navigation itself is not too bad, it's just like skiing or snowboarding. Give way to people ahead of you, but be mindful of anyone behind, get the hell out of the way of someone out of control, and try to swerve around the huge slow ones. I swallowed SO MUCH DUST. Luckily I had my sunnies to keep it out of my eyes. Riding in a dress is always interesting, but trying to keep your knees hidden, your mouth covered and your bag secure all at once takes it to a whole new level.
When I got to the centre, none of the other volunteers were there, and neither was the lovely lady with the adorable grandson (who kissed me on the cheek yesterday. Aw!) who usually takes charge. I walked into the room and there were two people I had only ever passed in the hallway, sitting waiting for me to get the party going. I was thinking "Öh God help me, where in the world am I right now?" but I just got on with it. Said hello to them all, did the 'welcome song' and got out some games. At about 9, the ladies just left. It was me alone in a room with 10 severely disabled kids, who must have just taken it as a cue to go nuts. I tried to feed them their snack, but it ended up strewn all over the room, crushed into the floor. One of the girls ripped out a clump of my hair and proceeded to eat it, and one little boy just pooed right in the middle of the floor. Ugh it was so bad. At 9:50 the lady came back with a basket of boardshorts and swim nappies, and motioned for me to change them all and take them outside. That was fun :| More wee. Haha yesterday I slipped in a puddle of wee and nearly went A over T. The lady was laughing so hard and mimicking me for about 10 minutes. So funny. We went outside and she had set up a wading pool, which was cool. But she just kind of chucked them all in it and started washing them all together. One little boy who is autistic and hides in the corner all day was freaking out in a massive way. Quivering in his little white trunks. I picked him up and he clung onto me for dear life, which is so out of character for him. I was soaking wet in a second, but my heart was absolutely breaking for this little thing who had buried his head in my shirt, whimpering and crying. I had to dress them all again, without towels, which was great but I managed. When the other girls who work at the school asked if I wanted to visit their afternoon class, I was not saying no! As much as I want to keep doing as much as I can with that room, I just couldn't do it today. I was in tears by about 11, and just needed to get out.
For lunch I had bbq bananas! So weird! They were hard and salty on the outside, like a biscuit or crusty bread, but then they were sweet on the inside. So strange, but lovely!
After that I went to see the school part of the building, and it was so great just to be around some kids that could fully understand what was being said to them. They were so freaking cute! One little girl-the only one in a class of boys-reminded me of myself when I was little. Before the class started, she was helping to teach me Khmer numbers and the alphabet, but when the teacher asked her to recite it all to the class she was so shy that she freaked out and forgot it. The poor dear. Some of the girls had made a parachute which we played with for a while, and the kids were so excited! They were squealing and jumping and laughing. It was so great to see.
On the way home on my bike, I was confronted with the biggest crowds I have ever seen. Thousands and thousands of people- walking, pushing carts, carrying things, riding wagons- all on their way into Phnom Penh for the water festival this weekend. We had heard that they would come, and so have spent the week preparing for the mosh pit that apparently engulfs the city every year. Hopefully we will get a glimpse of the boats racing on the river, or see some of the performances. I read that, at this time of year, the river actually reverses in direction as the floodwaters come from the lake out to the ocean. Seeing the size of the river the other day, I couldn't believe it, but I guess it is just one of those things! How awesome! We are having a great time, missing our families and everyone back home, but super excited for the weekend, and loving the guest house we are in. They are simply adorable :)

Brand New Eyes,

Today was my second day volunteering at the orphanage in Phnom Penh. The first thing that I realised about the place when I arrived yesterday, was that it is not so much an orphanage as a home for severely disabled and abandoned children and adults. Technically referred to as a "Nutrition Centre," it is home to almost 200 children and adults, most of whom are both physically and mentally disabled. I don't know how to describe it, or where to start, so I'm going to just keep typing and see what happens. I was dropped off this morning at about 9am. The Khmer man that took me out there introduced me to the director of the home, who was lovely. She didn't speak a word of English, but she had kind eyes. We stayed in her office for a while because there were a couple of problems with my placement. There was a bit of an issue regarding my lack of experience working with disabled children, considering that most volunteers there are recent graduates/currently employed as speech or occupational therapists, or at least have some form of nursing experience. I, however, seem to have gracefully slipped through the cracks and ended up miles from the other volunteers. I told her that I would give it a go and try my best, helping out wherever I was needed most. And so began my day. I was taken on a short tour of the building, which was surprisingly big, and as equally surprisingly empty. There was no furniture, and some of the rooms were completely bare. Cream walls. White floors. The hallways are long and thin, with bright sunlight flooding in at the ends-an eerie thing to see in such a depressing place. The bare rooms made me feel uneasy at first, but I think the simpleness of them can be calming for the autistic kids that can't handle too much stimuli. In the first room I saw, there were mattresses and pillows laid out over a 5x5m area, on which 25-30 children were lying. This group of kids were the most severely physically disabled ones in the centre, and so their bodies were all contorted and strange. Some of their expressions were horribly vacant, and I won't lie- it scared the shit out of me. The staff were lifting them up and down, playing with them and singing to them. All the while there were songs like Öld Macdonald"playing in the background. It was a feeble attempt to distract from the haunting sounds of groaning and moaning coming from the other rooms. The second room was better, the kids were more "with it" and it was great to see some smiling and laughing, it was great to see some conscious awareness! The room I worked in on the first morning was one for older kids, who weren't so physically disabled, allowing them to move around in various ways. It was all ages, from 3 years to 28, but that lady could well have been 4. I met two Khmer women and two English volunteers, all of whom are amazing.  The volunteers have been there 3 months as a part of their degrees in something like speech pathology and occupational therapy- I can't really remember. Meeting them, and speaking with them over just 2 days has made me determined to do as much as I can, even if I am overwhelmed and a bit scared. In just 2 and a half months they have completely transformed every aspect of the centre. They explained that when they first arrived, the children would just sit and play with plastic fruit for 3 hours at a time. Then eat, then play with plastic lego or something for another 3 hours. Shit. If you weren't disabled before that, you certainly would be after a few weeks! Now they have integrated all kinds of sensory and interactive games, dancing, stories and singing. Which has really had a visible effect on both the children and the minders. The majority of the kids in that room seem happy enough, but there are always a couple who aren't quite as peachy. I was asking about where the children come from, and where they go after the centre. They said that most of them have been abandoned in homes, at hospitals and at the gates at random times. They really come from everywhere. Just today I met a little blind boy who had been taken to 9 NGO's before this place, and he had been refused from every one. It really is the end of the line. One of the little boys sits in the corner, curled up into himself with his nads covering his eyes and ears. The girls explained that when he was found, he was alone in a room in this house, chained to the floor. No one would be ok after that. There is one little boy in thr group who seems to be developing normally, and the girls think that he is the grandson of one of the Khmer women. I can't help but wonder what the effects of this upbringing will have on his development and his life in the future.
The two Khmer women that work in this room are just beautiful. They deserve more credit than anyone working for any aid agency in the world. All the women who work there (I have not yet seen any men) have such love for the kids, and that is what keeps them doing it day after day. They earn just $20 per month. I was saddened to hear that they could triple their wage if they worked at the dog food factory across the road. It just makes me feel sick. Because of this factory, the entire complex reeks of dog food, I have been told that you "get used to it" after a while, but it still makes my stomach turn. Most of the women at the borey also live their, and have moved their families in to little flats in the complex so they can still work their 24 hour shifts. Yeah, 24 hours. They get days off, but mostly spend them working elsewhere to supplement their income. During our lunch breaks, I have been able to get to know some of the other volunteers, As you might imagine, they are a group of the most dedicated, passionate and loving people I have come across, and they really inspire me. They were saying today that they are so glad I am there to help, because the centre is desperate for more volunteers. When I asked why they don't have enough, they explained that it is not a very kitsch or glamorous job, and people stay for a day but can't handle it. They said that in Cambodia, and similar countries, at the moment there is a serious problem with regards to "tourist orphanages."They told me that particular homes have taken advantage of the fact that certain types of volunteering has become a popular trend with westerners, and they are using it to make a profit. Volunteers who are looking for something a bit more superficial out of the experience; a photo of them with a group of smiling Khmer kids for their facebook, a nice little addition to a resume, or just something to brag about to friends at home, are being used by these not-so-great places as a way to make some money. These orphanages create bogus and completely pointless "English classes" and charge ridiculous amounts for people to volunteer. It is really sad because the kids get screwed over from both sides of the spectrum; they learn nothing, waste time, and have to cope with constant disruption as volunteers rotate every couple of weeks. Even though I would have loved to meet some regular cambodian children, I am happy to think that I'm in a place which needs and appreciates me. I will keep you posted on what's going on, but I have to go because Claire and i are going on a mission to find some cake! :)

Crossing the border,

My diary entry from 1:30pm, on the bus to Phnom Penh.


Just crossed over the border into Cambodia, and what a strange experience that was! Dogs and chickens running everywhere, dust clouds filling everyones eyes, nose and mouth until you can't breathe. 'There is a gap of about 300m between the Cambodian side of the crossing and the Vietnamese side. Between the two points are rows and rows of casinos and clubs, with signs saying "Welcome to Ha Tien Vegas!"We decided that the rules must get a bit foggy in this dusty no man's land, so it would be the perfect spot for something as dodgy as a mini world of casinos. The only semi official thing about the crossing was the stamps, the security checkpoints are pretty much just little huts in the sand, with guys in hats propped up behind a desk. It was unnerving relinquishing our passports for even a second, especially when we found out that our group had somehow ended up with some other guys passport-he was going a few hundred k's in the opposite direction :S 

We walked through the sandy wasteland for about 600m, got some stamps and a visa, and piled back onto the bus. The whole interior of the bus was completely caked in the red dirt, so when we finally had to change buses we all looked like we'd been on safari with Bear Grylls for a week. We drove through the Cambodian countryside for about 4 hours, and finally arrived in Phnom Penh 3 hours behind schedule. Stepping down from the bus steps is like descending into a churning ocean of tuk tuk and moto drivers. Absolutely overwhelmed, we tried to find our bags amongst the growing pile whilst fending off the yelling and grappling. "Lady! Lady!"they scream, grabbing your arm and trying to pull you over to their tuk tuk before you go with someone else. "Guesthouse!" "Hotel"-they yell anything to try and get your attention. I have never been so glad to look up and see two people I know, standing amongst the swarming crowd. Lucy and Rob (two people we met in Vietnam) picked the four of us up from the bus and walked us to their guesthouse just around the corner. We checked in, and then made our way to the market- delirious with hunger! There were 8 of us at dinner, and I think we ate them out of work! We pointed at a handful of random things on the menu, and for about 2 hours the dishes just kept coming! So much food. It was such a fun thing to do, actually having to figure out what is on your plate. Thank God it was dark because I don't know how much I would have eaten if I could have seen it properly! Haven't been sick yet though, so fingers crossed :D